Posted by: Erica Retrochef | February 10, 2014

Little Rubies

I didn’t want to make this. It’s terrifying and weird. And I have a whole different threshold for “different and weird” than most people after doing this blog. But just look at this.

recipe

In chafing dish or fondue pot, combine one can (1 lb. 5 oz.) cherry pie filling with one-half cup rosé wine or 1/4 cup each of sugar and orange juice. Add 3 pounds of wieners, cut into bite-sized pieces (or 4 packages each Little Wieners and Little Smokies). Heat to serving temperature. Keep warm over low flame in chafing dish. Use toothpicks for serving. Makes about 3 cups sauce, about 11 dozen pieces.

It’s pie filling and rosé wine and hot dogs. PIE FILLING AND WINE. This was what passed for food in the 70′s?

ingredients

I have no idea why Buzz thought this sounded good, but he was really excited about it — in part because we already had a can of cherry pie filling. I was completely not excited. For two weeks, I kept pointing out that I thought it was terrible. And then he came home with some rosé wine and frankfurters.

wine

Because I had no other use for rosé wine and pie filling, I mixed them together to make some little rubies. Pie filling mixed with wine tastes like… well, fruitier pie filling with a very slight kick. Very slight. Imagine being kicked by a small kitten.

dogs

When Buzz opened the hot dogs and started cutting them, the youngest stole one and started eating. I told him to eat all the rest and save Mommy from having to cook and eat this absurd dish. He laughed and dropped the hot dog and ran away.

boiling

Meanwhile, the boozy pie filling was bubbling merrily on the stove.

When it was warmed through, I said, “You know, we have a fondue set.”

“We do? Cool!

So we got down the fondue set box. In addition to a fondue set, it contained some pretzel goldfish crackers that were at least seven years old. And then Buzz ran to the grocery store to buy a can of Sterno.

I should just stop saying things.

sterno

He came back with a can of Sterno and a package of Little Smokies.

serving

Well, it’s sweet and meaty, and not inedible. As an hors d’oeuvre or a dish on a buffet, this would work well. I definitely don’t recommend eating more than a few bites, though — it gets overwhelming.

The awful 1973 Oscar Mayer sausage cookbook was posted online by Awful Library Books. We’ve actually made something from it before, Meat Pops, which were also fairly awful.

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Responses

  1. I really don’t consider hot dogs and little Smokies as food then or now. But, it is what we did and still do.

    • Good quality hot dogs can be pretty tasty. On occasion…

  2. Practical, seriously?! Little Smokies would rock in this, and El CHEAPO hot dogs would ruin it I think.

    I’m cooking this one tonight. My D-i-L will be at work, my Mrs will be at Weight Watchers during ‘Monday Night Guy Supper’…just gotta find some veggie to go with it.

    …hmmm, potato chips sounds good.

    • Potato chips sound just about right. Good luck…?

    • We actually thought the Smokies were vastly inferior to the Boar’s Head frankfurters. I don’t like hot dogs much myself, but I remembered enjoying Little Smokies when I was a kid. However, after only a few tastes, Erica and I were both avoiding the Smokies in favor of the hot dog chunks. I don’t know whether it was the sauce or whether I just dislike them intensely now, but the Smokies did not work in this dish.

  3. If you think of it as a fruit sauce rather than pie filling it seems more plausible. I’d consider adding some mustard or curry powder for a sweet-sour.

    • That could help it out for sure. It desperately needed SOMETHING to cut the sweetness.

      • More wine, probably.

      • Unfortunately rose wine is so darn sweet it doesn’t really help!

  4. This is like that lil smokies dish where you mix grape jelly with…is it chili sauce? I’m still abstaining from wieners. I am glad you are here to make these sorts of things.

    • We do what we can to bring wiener insanity to the internet…

  5. Grape jelly and BBQ sauce (?) melted, with li’l dogs in it, served over rice! That’s some good eats! This cherry stuff sounds like some attempt at sweet and sour sauce. I’m surprised the original recipe didn’t call for chunks of Spam and pineapple in it….the only really good use for li’l dogs are wrapped up in bits of crescent roll dough and baked. (we here don’t care for Little Smokies at all).

  6. *hysterical laughter*
    Wine and pie filling…and hot dogs. Wow. I remember being a kid and being surprised by pineapple on pizza. This would have blown my little 1970′s mind.

  7. Pie filling & wine? I think you have my favourite food groups right there. xx


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