Posted by: Erica Retrochef | May 26, 2014

Recipes I’m Never Going To Make

We were going to make this thing called Chicken Fantasia, but through a convergence of confusion and delay (yes, I have been watching too much Thomas And Friends with the toddler this week), it needs to be put off until later (like, Thursday). So, since I know you can’t live without your retro recipe fix, here’s a collection of interesting ones that you’d never otherwise see on my blog.

Banana Meat Loaf. Buzz actually came across the recipe elsewhere, and wanted to make it, and I turned him down and we made a different crazy banana thing. Good thing, too, because somebody else has already tried it.

from the McIntosh Cookery Collection, UMass Amherst

Canned Meats with a Sack O’ Barbecue Sauce. This is totally unappealing (canned hot dogs with barbecue sauce dumped on top?), but luckily it’s impossible to make today — it’s not available anymore. Any guesses as to why?

TJS Gallery of Graphic Design, originally from Life Magazine 1950

Mayonnaise from Evaporated Milk. When I was little, I thought mayonnaise was dairy-based. I remember being shocked when I found out it’s an emulsion of egg yolk and oil. I was flabbergasted when I found out there are actually a variety of fake mayos made with evaporated or sweetened condensed milk. Taryn has tried one.

Two Minute Mayonnaise (1964), on Vivat Vintage

So yes, there are things that are so crazy that not even the Retro Recipe Attempts household will try them. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled insanity in a few days, though.



  1. Isn’t evap ever so slightly sweet, or is that just my recollection as a child? Slightly sweet mayo… shudder.

    • Evaporated is a little bit sweet (from the natural milk sugars, which get more concentrated in the evaporation process), sweetened condensed is very sweet (from added sugar). Neither one sounds like an appealing mayonnaise base! 😀

  2. I found scans of that entire banana cookbook online. Some of the recipes are downright insane-sounding.

  3. Hah! Our Thomas & Friends word around here is “uncouple” and “delay.” It is truly strange to hear the three/four-year-old nephews adding this to their vocabularies.

    Also: may you never make that sack-o-sauce thing. EVER. ::shudder::

  4. Condensed-milk ‘mayonnaise’ was standard in New Zealand in the 70s. It’s just condensed milk and a little malt vinegar. Nothing like mayonnaise, but really very nice with iceberg lettuce and carrot.

  5. whole egg mayonnaise here:
    an egg
    juice of half a lemon (try half a blood orange: yum)
    1/4 t salt
    1/4 t sugar (see: sweet)
    1/4 t pepper (if your children don’t object
    1 t prepared mustard (Dijon)
    drizzle sunflower oil in as you blend…
    if you want it to taste like olive oil mayonnaise, add one or more pitted green olives. Save the olive oil for eating as olive oil.

    chopped garlic
    chopped parsley

    saffron threads

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: