Posted by: Erica Retrochef | February 2, 2015

Three Second Appetizer


Let’s say you’re a glamorous socialite and are throwing a party. And you were so busy putting on eyeliner to get those eyes just right that you completely forgot you were supposed to have food at your party. At least some snacks. Something for people to put in their faces when they get tired of making small talk.

And the doorbell rings, and you realize there’s nothing on the table, and you have three seconds to throw something together before opening the door and pretending you were totally prepared all along.

What’s a girl to do?

Put a slab of cream cheese in a shallow bowl and pour A.1. Steak Sauce liberally over it. (Looks like a chocolate sundae.) Circle with crackers or potato chips. As guests dip in, the tangy A.1. flavor blends with the cheese to make a delicious spread.

Super Bowl Sunday isn’t super-fancy, so I didn’t wear my veiled hat when I made this yesterday. I didn’t even put on nail polish or eyeliner. Let’s see how this quickie appetizer turns out…


Rummage in the fridge and see what you’ve got. Oh good, steak sauce and cream cheese!


Since it’s football season, we squished it into a football-shaped cookie cutter. (Turned it into a fifteen second appetizer.)


Since it’s football season, we drew football laces on it. (Turned it into a thirty second appetizer.)


And then we dumped steak sauce all over the top, hiding the artwork.


Doesn’t really look like a chocolate sundae so much as a block of cream cheese with steak sauce on top — maybe that’s because I forgot to wear my fancy hat?

But really, nobody would make this because it looks good. They’d make this because they completely forgot about their party. Luckily, it doesn’t taste as silly as it looks — the sauce has a fruity tang to it, and the cream cheese mellows the sharpness. (It’s tough to enjoy, though, because getting the right balance of sauce and cheese takes practice. Most bites are too sour or too creamy.)

So if you’re extremely short on time and ingredients, this isn’t the worst choice of appetizer for a party. You’ll be better off planning a few extra minutes into your day to go to the grocery store, though!

Found this thanks to alsis35 on Flickr and just HAD to try it.



  1. Heh. Like the Super Bowl itself, this seems…interesting. Last year’s Super Bowl had Broadway Joe (in a fur coat and cowboy boots!); the snap from Hell (and Manning’s “WTF?!” look is forever etched into my memory; AND an out and out rout! I’m not a real football fan, so I need extremes to keep me entertained. An old-fashioned stomping keeps me in the game; a good, close game decided in the final seconds? Good, but you see close games in the Super Bowl all the time–how many times do you get to see a favored team lose so gloriously?

    (Oh, and yeah–Seattle should’ve run the ball…)

  2. I’d say if I were throwing a party, the chances of ‘forgetting’ I was supposed to have food would be slim and none. I can’t imagine who would want to eat THIS stuff, strictly from desperation!

  3. This might be good if you mixed them together as a dip, and added a little lemon zest and some fresh parsley or something.

    • Mixing would be a bare minimum improvement, I think! 🙂

  4. Forget the eyeliner, menu planning is the best part of party planning!

    • I completely agree. This scenario is honestly just SO completely foreign to me, which is probably why I find the ad so hilarious 🙂

  5. Someone once brought this to a potluck. It got mistaken for cheesecake and put on the dessert table.

    • That must have given somebody a nasty surprise.

    • HA HA HA!!!!!

  6. Sweet chili sauce dumped on cream cheese also makes an excellent quick dip.

  7. Cream cheese and Pickapeppa Sauce was a staple appetizer back in the 80’s. I

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